Episode 19 / Tirzah Shirai
I Just Lost My Business - Now What? Tirzah Shirai on Resilience After Failure
This episode is for you if you’ve ever wondered:
Insights into Tirzah Shirai's personal journey and the shifts in perspective on wealth and success.
The significance of aligning business strategies with heart-centered and spiritually conscious principles.
The impact of motherhood and identity shifts on personal well-being and professional life.
The importance of embracing both masculine and feminine energies and the evolution of societal gender expectations.
Methods to honor the soul’s journey in business and find balance to prevent burnout.
About Tirzah
Tirzah Shirai birthed a 30M business from nothing and is now radically redefining success.
Blinkbar was started out of pure necessity after she hit a lull in paychecks as an Award-Winning Film Director and had less than $1,000 to her name.The company quickly grew from $0 - $30M in 5 years as she applied her skill for storytelling with her ability to paint a big vision and develop a strategy to get there.
Now, she’s taking her business, branding, and benevolence background and turning it into an educational experience the entrepreneurial world has never seen before. Through a combination of spiritual practices (the “woo") and strategic planning (the “work”), she’s helping others who burn with a desire to share their gifts with the world through business.
Tirzah experiences the most happiness in her life when she embraces her role in motherhood and practices leaning back into her already existing feminine power rather than striving for status. Her only hope is to help others feel that same happiness through the energy they bring to going after their dreams.
“There was an emptiness that I wasn't expecting at the top of that mountain. And so I really had to take a step back and redefine what is success to me. What does that really, really mean?”
Tirzah Shirai
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Lindsey Epperly [00:00:02]:
Welcome, Tirza. I am super excited to interview you today.
Tirzah Shirai [00:00:07]:
Thank you, Lindsay. It's such a blessing and a pleasure to be here with you.
Lindsey Epperly [00:00:12]:
I know it's so much fun when I get to interview friends and people that I've had the honor of getting to know, and I am so grateful for you and for your friendship. I was just kind of reflecting on this. I think it was actually about a year ago when we first set, sat down, and had, like, a big sob fest on my couch as our first meeting.
Tirzah Shirai [00:00:28]:
Right? Absolutely. I know it has been, what, a year it has been.
Lindsey Epperly [00:00:32]:
Oh, my gosh, seriously? Well, I mean, I kind of even want to start there with a lot of what we talked about that day in my living room when I had just never heard another female leader so candidly open up about not just her success journey, but what happened at the time with Blink bar, which at the time, felt like failure, but now, in retrospect, was so freeing for you. So let's just start there. Tell us a little bit about that story.
Tirzah Shirai [00:00:57]:
Sure. Yeah. So the rise and fall. The rise and fall. So, Blink Bar, the first location, was open in February of 2015. And I really started. I like to call myself an accidental entrepreneur, because I just saw this need in the marketplace. And so for those that don't know, Blink Bar was a chain of eyelash salons in California.
Tirzah Shirai [00:01:20]:
We're kind of like the go to place, and we had been in Good Morning America and Forbes and all of that. And so the short version is, of the rise is that we really started as a pop up, and we had this incredible rise to success where I really decided we weren't going to raise capital until we got the business to a certain place. So, basically, without any investors, we grew from zero in revenue to 30 million with no investors in less than five years, which is an incredible growth trajectory. And then, as fate and the world would have it, we were set to close our first round of funding in March of 2020. And I don't think I need to tell anyone listening what happened in March of 2020. And for those of you that were not in California, it was a complete shutdown for a full year. And so at that point, I was telling someone, actually, the other day, like, two weeks in, we're like, so legally, they can't close a round of funding the team that was investing in us when a company is closed. And so two weeks went by, and then six weeks went by.
Tirzah Shirai [00:02:35]:
And at that point, after three months, you're going. I'm not sure we're ever going to really recover. When we reopened, it was really, like, rewinding to day one, but with millions of dollars in debt, because we had virtually no debt before. Yeah. So I had to, as the CEO and the founder of the company, really take a sober look at what did I want. I mean, I think so many people today aren't even having this conversation or talking about it, but it's on so many people's hearts of, like, I changed in three years. I didn't want the same things even when we reopened a year later, because, by the way, we were closed for over a year by the state of California. And unlike restaurants or other venues, we were not able to get those extra multiples, and we also were unable to even do takeaway or be open in any capacity.
Tirzah Shirai [00:03:31]:
And so I really had to make that hard decision to. We're actually in the process. By the time this airs, we'll probably have transitioned. We have. Will have closed. And it took a tremendous amount of really soul searching to really realize, hey, I didn't want to start back at zero. I wanted to take everything that I had learned and really move on to a new venture. And I have so many friends and beloved people that have been through this shift as well.
Tirzah Shirai [00:04:10]:
Right. And they may have made a different decision. They may still be getting up every day and going through the motions even though their heart's not in it. But I guess I'm here to give a permission slip if anybody needs it, that it's all okay on the other end for me, I really had to let go. And so for those that may need that, I just want to be here to offer that.
Lindsey Epperly [00:04:39]:
You have such a beautiful story and a beautiful way of looking at it. And I want to talk a little bit more about letting go, because I think that obviously, you had a forced letting go, but what did life look like before that? How tightly were you clinging in control? What type of personality are we dealing with ahead of this? What did that look like for you in the ways that you've transformed since then?
Tirzah Shirai [00:05:02]:
Oh, man. I mean, I call her, like, BC before that version, and I just look at her, and she had accomplished so much of that vision board success, right? Yeah. I belonged to the private clubs in, you know, had the car. I had the. Had, you know, the membership to YPO. And yet, if I'm really honest, the number one shift I've had to make is how I define success, because there really was for me, and obviously, I can't speak for anyone else, but there was an emptiness that I wasn't expecting at the top of that mountain. And so I really had to take a step back and redefine what is success to me. What does that really, really mean? And so I think this was the conversation we had a year ago.
Tirzah Shirai [00:05:55]:
As absolutely heartbreaking and challenging as that journey was, I wouldn't change it for anything. Right.
Lindsey Epperly [00:06:03]:
That is the conversation we had a year ago. And I think it also as you journey to redefining that there's an element of this, too, a big element of reinventing your identity, or maybe even at least my experience. It was like rediscovering my identity for the first time because it stripped away everything that I had been hiding behind. And I'm curious what your experience was there.
Tirzah Shirai [00:06:28]:
So beautiful, Lindsay, I love that. I love that analogy. And I think that's really true. It's more of a stripping down or pulling back. I'm kind of seeing like the onion layers getting to the core right when we don't have all the distractions like the parties to go to and the networking events, and we're just like home with, in my case, my nine month old son. It is very sobering. And I think if you let it, it's just an incredible gift to strip away everything. Because look, at the end of the day, I mean, I don't need to get too esoteric here, but we know those things.
Tirzah Shirai [00:07:05]:
We don't take them with us when we go. Right. There's something much more deeper that one, certainly in my case, I was able to plug into and to kind of bring to the table, if you will, through that refinement, through that remembering and that massive. Just letting go. Yeah.
Lindsey Epperly [00:07:26]:
And I also noting here what is important of this conversation is you mentioned being home with your nine month old son. So you were transitioning into motherhood during this time as well, which had to also bring its own. And you and I both had this experience because that's how we met, was through our similarly aged children. Actually, we met because I moved into your townhome and used to deliver your mail to you because it would still come to me. But side note on that, so becoming a mom during that time, tell me more about that and what that journey.
Tirzah Shirai [00:07:53]:
Looked like because that had to have.
Lindsey Epperly [00:07:54]:
So many effects on it as well.
Tirzah Shirai [00:07:56]:
Oh, wow. I mean, that's its own, I guess, timeline. Because I had chosen, unlike a lot of people, I had chosen adoption as my pathway to motherhood. I had chosen to be a single mom. And I had definitely not chosen to lose everything. I had chosen to embark on that path when I knew I was very financially secure, when I had things figured out. And it was like God just said, by the way, WHOOP. Like, that's gone.
Tirzah Shirai [00:08:31]:
Terrifying, really. At first, I remember he had his one year, like, two months. April 29 is his birthday. And I just thought it was really scary also feeling like, oh, everything. And I know I'm not alone in that. Right? So many people gave birth. One of my best friends gave birth during that time. And, yeah, it really was, I like to say, an initiation into a whole different.
Tirzah Shirai [00:09:02]:
Also, you're going through, I think, a change as a mother where apart from COVID apart from the loss, apart from all of that, there's this really deep kind of these questions that come up with our first child. Like, wait, who am I being as an example? How am I showing up? What matters to me, right? And I love it. I have so many friends. One of my best friends just became a mother. And actually, it's now been almost a year. And she was like, I'm going to do all the same things. I'm not going to let this baby change my life. And I'm like, get the popcorn.
Tirzah Shirai [00:09:34]:
I can't wait to see. Good luck with that. Yeah. And nine months later, she's like, oh, my. You can't prepare yourself for what that does in such a beautiful way to your priorities, to what matters to you, to your values.
Lindsey Epperly [00:09:49]:
Yes. And you know what? That's kind of what I meant by this question was, I feel like the whole identity shift that happened during both the rise and fall of your business, but also during motherhood, I felt very fortunate to have those two things happen all at once. I call it the MBA I never wanted, but it was like such a learning lesson of all of these massive changes to you as a human. And now you've actually taken the idea of massive change, noting that it happens in so many other individuals lives, and you're creating a whole new reality around that. Right. That's what you've recognized as a need for the world.
Tirzah Shirai [00:10:24]:
Yeah, absolutely. I obviously have all these different groups of friends, a lot of CEO moms. And I think one of the things that I have really had to shift and prioritize is something that is bringing, like honoring motherhood, really honoring that is its own path. Right. And I think that's been a huge shift is I do see these races that happen. Right. There's kind of this honor system of how quick can we get back to work? And I've really had to hold that up or under the microscope as they say and examine that belief. Right.
Tirzah Shirai [00:11:07]:
And in my own life, I've really shifted to prioritize, simplifying everything so I can be there. And like you said earlier, it goes by so quickly. I want to be present. I want to be there.
Lindsey Epperly [00:11:21]:
Yes, well, and so much of what you're talking about is kind of just like a direct challenge to today's hustle culture. And so for people listening who maybe haven't had these types of massive life transitions yet, right, that are in the middle of that hamster wheel, that are feeling the constant drive to succeed, the ambition. I want to talk a little bit about. You talk about the BC version of Tirza right before COVID but I want to talk about what the mindset was like then and now in terms of some of these big modern challenges that we face as humans and especially as professionals and especially as professional women. And of course, listeners are both women and men. So it's always helpful for men to understand how to support the women in their lives in this case. But I want to talk more about. Mean, I was actually debating this with Stephanie Olsen the other day of can ambition exist without, like, with anxiety as the driving factor? What was your experience with that pre and post this transformation?
Tirzah Shirai [00:12:19]:
Yeah, ambition and anxiety. That's a really great question. I feel like we could. That's a whole. I would say I've always been highly, highly ambitious, and I've always had this incredible. I joke that I'm like a recovering entrepreneur now because I was such a type a personality before. And I also have been meditating and I've had a deep spiritual practice and a lot of prayer for many, many years. So I wouldn't say I have felt a ton of anxiety.
Tirzah Shirai [00:12:52]:
What I think I notice more, especially with a little human alongside, is this rushing. Like there's always a next place to be, a next thing. And it really has, I guess, highlighted that having this little being and completely slowing down for that full year and then reentering and noticing what is the pace that makes sense for me. And I can see it a lot through his eyes. And I think my pacing has always been a little faster than was natural for me and felt nourishing. It didn't feel as nourishing as it does now because I've placed that as a high, high importance.
Lindsey Epperly [00:13:41]:
That is a really great way of putting that and probably a better way of articulating the question because anxiety in itself is, of course, affects some people, does not affect everyone, but it's really more of the. What was the instigator behind the ambition. And to your point, if it's pushing you further than your natural pace, love the way you just put that. Then you're going to feel that tension. And that's probably what is resting inside.
Tirzah Shirai [00:14:05]:
Of like, oh, gosh, I got to.
Lindsey Epperly [00:14:06]:
Be, I got to do. And then it was always succeed, succeed, succeed. And I feel like that's how a lot of people look at it, that enough is never enough. And I do agree that the slowing down has been one of the biggest factors I want to talk about, too burning out, because that is something that is so common and so prevalent that even I think it became an official condition in the World Health Organization a few years ago. Did you ever experience any of that on either side of this?
Tirzah Shirai [00:14:36]:
Yeah, I would know. Obviously, when you're in startup mode and you're in bootstrap mode, you're putting everything, especially pre child for me, into that. And I remember very early on I got to a place where I was literally collapsed on the floor and I was like, I can't. I just don't know how people do this. And I felt like such a failure because I felt like, wow, nobody ever talks about this. And then I was able to luckily reach out to some mentors who are like, oh, no, that's normal. And I was thinking, if that's normal, why doesn't anyone ever talk about that? Because this sense of, like, I literally can't get out of bed and there's different entrepreneurial journeys. Mine was a solopreneur and so I didn't have that partner that would kind of be, it was all on me.
Tirzah Shirai [00:15:26]:
And so, yeah, I burnout. And for me, if I really answer that question in the purest form, it was less of a burnout and more of a massive light going on and awakening as to who I was and what I came here to do and that that was no longer serving that. So it was more like this massive spiritual kind of awakening to why I came here in the first place. And was I truly in alignment with that? I think even BC I did have some great practices and coaches and people that I worked with where I did have a healthy work life balance and I did take care of my body, I would set aside self care. So I think obviously the body, though, going through those three years, there was a tremendous amount of stress. So I would say burnout really in that 2020 year was very heavy. And I personally think a lot of that has to do with when we're aligned with our purpose. There is a lot of energy that's released a lot of passion, a lot of true enthusiasm when we're really on course.
Tirzah Shirai [00:16:45]:
And so I would say the burnout, ironically, actually happened after we reopened and we were unwinding. It was like a very long unwinding process. That's where I experienced burnout because it was very clear that I was no longer on the path that I wanted to be on yet. I had to go through the motions.
Lindsey Epperly [00:17:07]:
Absolutely. Wow. That makes a lot of sense. And that was, I think, one of my early questions to you, too, of why not just keep pursuing what you were pursuing beforehand? Blink bar was doing well. You've got a proven track record with this specific company, and if you were to continue doing that, you would have completely burned.
Tirzah Shirai [00:17:23]:
Yes. Yeah, absolutely. And the writing was on the wall. Right. We didn't just not reopen. We had to reopen. We had a lot of employees, and so we had to be responsible. But at the same time, there was this massive realization that if I continued down that path, my health and my mental health would have really started to suffer.
Lindsey Epperly [00:17:45]:
Yeah, you mentioned you had a lot of employees. You had a lot of people on the line. I want to talk a little bit about that, too, as a leader, because we focused a lot on you and what you experienced. But we also aren't even taking into account this pressure that you probably had on yourself to be accountable to any other stakeholders in your business, whether it was. You mentioned you didn't take investors, but at least the employees, the individuals involved. What did that feel like? How did you navigate that piece of this in a leadership perspective?
Tirzah Shirai [00:18:15]:
Yeah. I mean, any leader will tell you that that is the hardest, hardest part. Especially, I think we were incredibly unique where we had all of these employees and a lot of know, we have a very diverse workforce, and most of them know sole breadwinners, part breadwinners, single moms. And so there was this added layer. Know, California is a very expensive place to live. And so, yeah, obviously that is first. And know I have to give a shout out to my right hand, Kim, who was really there and really helped navigate all of this along the way. I didn't do it on my own.
Tirzah Shirai [00:18:59]:
I had a lot of advisors and a lot of forums and a lot of workshops and way too many Zoom meetings because it is something you can't do in isolation. Right. You really need that community and for people to have this open dialogue as far as what's working, what isn't, and being able to share that burden, really, it's this thing you feel this heightened sense of responsibility.
Lindsey Epperly [00:19:25]:
Yeah, gosh, I get that. And you've mentioned a lot about your spirituality, and I know you and I come from the same faith background and Christianity, but I also try to create a place in this podcast where everyone feels welcome, everyone is invited to the table. I want to hear everyone's perspectives and how spirituality shapes their journey. And you've just alluded to that a number of times. I'd love to hear a little bit more about how that plays out in your personal and professional life.
Tirzah Shirai [00:19:53]:
Yeah, that is the question. I feel like for me, and I'm the same. I mean, I've studied every great religion, and I think they all have a beautiful offering, and yet I have found a particular resonance with the Christ being, as I call it, or Christianity. And for me, my spiritual journey, I've always been from a young, young age, very much into the mystical path, the spiritual path, and that deep, deep quest, questioning. And then I kind of had this separate path, which was my CEO type a life. And I would say until 2020, those were absolutely hard and fast separate. They were separate friend groups, they were separate everything. They were separate weekends.
Tirzah Shirai [00:20:39]:
They were separate activities. There were separate wardrobes, probably. I mean, very separate. And I would say that that is the biggest change that happened for me was in 2020. There was this collision that happened, this alchemy where these two sides came together for me. And I knew at the end of that year there was no separating this spiritual self with the career and the purpose and the business. And it was really wild, because in my world, you don't mix spirituality and business. And even when I, over the three years of birthing this new project that I have, there was a lot of feedback of, like, wait, you can't mix spirituality and business that doesn't go together.
Tirzah Shirai [00:21:30]:
And I would argue not only does it go together, but if we don't acknowledge, however you want to see it, if you're Hindu, Buddhist, Christian, it doesn't matter. Until we as humans start to acknowledge the soul in our life journey, we're going to be on the journey of depression, suicide, sadness, all the things that we're facing today, until we start to acknowledge the soul, and that's not a religious, again, you're going to find your own lens and your own way of unpacking that that's unique to you. But we have to bring the soul and the journey to the table. We have to understand. So for me, that was the biggest part of my journey was like, oh, this is happening. And there's no untangling this. There's no going back and putting that Pandora's box back together. This is forever now.
Tirzah Shirai [00:22:31]:
Enmeshed.
Lindsey Epperly [00:22:32]:
Wow. I'm so curious, too, because you put this so well in the way that you market the project that you're working on now, which we're going to get to in just a second. But you talk about it as the woo, right? Which is kind of a cute, tongue in cheek way of saying spirituality. And when you read that it lands, it makes sense. It's the kind of. I don't know if I'm here or not. It's the woo. And I do think that today's modern culture is embracing that more and more.
Lindsey Epperly [00:22:55]:
I think people are starting to awaken to this idea that there is so much more to us than society's definition of success and the materialistic things that we go after. And so if someone is in the position of saying that lands, the woo lands, the spirituality side lands, I get it. I feel this little nudge inside of myself. What is their first step? When you say acknowledging the soul, where do they start?
Tirzah Shirai [00:23:18]:
Well, that's a great question. I think it's really starting with an intention, and I think that's a challenging question, because out there, through this new project that I'm embarking on, I've had to dive a lot into the new age movement, and I think there is a lot of falsehood out there. There's a lot of. So I think tapping into something that has roots is very important. Again, whatever lineage you pick. Right. Kabbalah might be one for some, or I think where I would start is finding a system with very nourishing, rich roots and then finding what resonates with you. There was a point where I was born into a christian family, and that path carried way too much pain for me.
Tirzah Shirai [00:24:11]:
And so I had to go through this Hindu path, this eastern path for a long period of time, which then brought me back. Right. But even when I was in that, I was very tied to this ancient Vedas and to these different. These deep, deep traditions. So I would say the number one word I would give anyone is really finding something that has nourishment and depth to it has a correct cosmology.
Lindsey Epperly [00:24:39]:
Yeah, that's really interesting. I love how you put that with roots, finding something with roots. And it is really paying attention to that kind of little inclination inside of ourselves. And what resonates, because it is so different. I feel like everyone's faith and spirituality is like a thumbprint.
Tirzah Shirai [00:24:55]:
Right?
Lindsey Epperly [00:24:55]:
It is so different in every single person's lives. And that's why sometimes it feels so crazy to categorize it as religion with a capital R, where it's just one person's idea of this particular subset. It is so interpretive. So I really like how you just put that. Yeah, I love that. I would love to hear more about this project that you're working on. The venusian school of business, right? Tell us more.
Tirzah Shirai [00:25:17]:
Yeah. So Venusian as in, comes from the planet of Venus, which is widely known as the more feminine impulse. Because when this project first started coming to me, so it is an online school of business and community of like minded, I would say, heart led entrepreneurs. And it is really something that just wouldn't stop coming to me. It came to me in my dreams. It came to me when I would sit in silence. It would come to me when I was with my son. And at first I thought it was solely about bringing forward this feminine impulse into business.
Tirzah Shirai [00:25:54]:
So more of an alignment, a receptivity, a receptive state, as opposed to this type a hustle kind of ball that we're sold. And then the more I went down that path, I realized, oh, success in this alignment is actually a two winged bird. And if we only focus on the feminine or we only focus on the masculine, we are not going to be able to take flight either in our life or in our business. And so it really became more about what we discussed earlier, which is this acknowledgment of just the soul and how the soul, how the fact that we do come to this planet with a purpose and a reason, how that can inform our life and our business, and also redefining what it means to be successful.
Lindsey Epperly [00:26:46]:
Yeah. How are you taking people through that? What does that look like to be a part of this program?
Tirzah Shirai [00:26:52]:
Yeah. So we have three different phases. The first phase is really the roots. It's about alignment. So, really, either you might have a business or you might have a business concept that has been there for a while. It's really starting from a foundation of alignment. So, really, we take people through a process of alignment and making sure that they're really plugged into that purpose, because, as you know, when you're starting out, if you want to have that unlimited energy and feel like you're not working, that only comes when you're plugged into your purpose. Right.
Tirzah Shirai [00:27:27]:
And then the second one is really about, phase two is about healing our relationship with money and success and redefining legacy, because we've always attributed legacy to just dollars in a bank account and something I talk about in the course is this beautiful concept of wealth, poverty, and a lot of people don't understand. I was raised very poor. I've met a lot of people who were raised with a lot of wealth, and yet there's this overlap that happens. So it's really looking at our lineage and looking at the stories that have become part of our mosaic of who we are and deciding which ones we want to take forward. Redefining legacy. And then the third one is the nuts and bolts business. All of it from funnels to marketing, but it's all from a spiritual place. So heart centered marketing.
Tirzah Shirai [00:28:23]:
I created this course for the healers, the mothers, and the heart led entrepreneurs because I feel like those are the people that we need to step forward into their purpose and bring their gifts into the world right now. And yet, so many heart centered people feel like the business world doesn't work for them. They don't want to put themselves out there on social media. And so phase three is really about taking your power back when it comes to sales and marketing and feeling empowered and feeling excited and feeling in alignment with all of that. Not like you're selling your soul for success, right? The complete opposite of that.
Lindsey Epperly [00:29:03]:
Wow. I bet that is super powerful. And I'm so intrigued by each of those facets. Honestly, I feel like that is such a transformational journey that you're taking people on, especially the second part, when you talk about redefining your relationship with wealth, and you mentioned you come from poverty. Can you tell us a little bit more about what the wealth journey has.
Tirzah Shirai [00:29:24]:
Looked like for you? Oh, yeah. This ties into our conversation before, which I, from a very young age, we were very poor. We were on welfare a lot. We got our clothes from garbage bags. We did get food from the food bank. Not all the time, but that was a reality of my formative years. And so I had this incredible drive that really came out of a lot of pain and trauma. And I was like, I'm going to be a millionaire by the time I'm 20.
Tirzah Shirai [00:29:50]:
And I really did all the Tony Robbins and I did everything. And that was beautiful. It was relevant for that time. And yet I remember sitting in forum, this group of CEOs that I would sit with, and I had this massive epiphany where I went, oh, my God, I've climbed the wrong mountain. I got to the top of the 1%, I'm here. And I conflated the lack of money with a lack of love. And I thought if I earned enough money and enough accolades, and I was in Forbes enough or on good Morning America enough that I would have earned love. And I remember the whole forum was, ah, we were just sat there inside.
Tirzah Shirai [00:30:35]:
Oh, you shared this? Yes, I shared it in forum. And everyone was what? It was this profound, because I think there was a recognition in the room that there is this thing in our society where we conflate those. So for me, I had to then from that level, like leveled everything to zero. I had to redefine what does success mean? And I coined this term in my house home care, because I had a cleaning person who I love, Trini would come and clean. And I felt so disconnected from things that I started to feel like I wanted to be reconnected with. And so I started to change the language around homework or to house care, right. Not having to slave away in the kitchen, but to enjoy that process. And for me, spending time in nature, moving to this beautiful community that we live in, all of these things for me were a process of beginning to recognize that success is not dollars in a bank account, it's freedom.
Tirzah Shirai [00:31:42]:
It's having a healthy body and a healthy mind and a healthy soul for me, right. This is what matters to me. Success for me is being able to stop work after 4 hours, right. And go pick up my son and spend time with him. So it's also what I've realized is really simplifying my life, simplifying what I need. And that has been, I have found a lot of freedom in the redefining of wealth, because before it just meant making a tremendous amount of money and spending it. And now I think my priorities have completely shifted in that.
Lindsey Epperly [00:32:24]:
Absolutely. You said something in there too, about I've climbed the wrong mountain. And I love the way you put that, because your story and what you're living out now are such an example of even if you have spent all of this time and energy and effort, and you realize that you've climbed the wrong mountain, it's never too late to start over, and it's never too late to take what you've learned and apply that to the right mountain. And maybe, is it still a mountain? What does that even look like now?
Tirzah Shirai [00:32:52]:
Yeah, that's great.
Lindsey Epperly [00:32:54]:
Do we still want to climb mountains here?
Tirzah Shirai [00:32:56]:
Yeah, I know. It's such a great question. I mean, you could even redefine the mountain at this point. Yeah, it could be any kind of summit path, a meadow, perhaps, want to walk path, just want to walk barefoot outside in the labyrinth.
Lindsey Epperly [00:33:10]:
This is why we all wound up where we wound up.
Tirzah Shirai [00:33:14]:
Exactly. Maybe I don't want to wear shoes anymore?
Lindsey Epperly [00:33:18]:
Maybe it's not a mountain, but it is wonderful to see someone embracing, starting over. I don't even know that I would call it starting. Know you're building off of what you have already learned and what you've already built. And it's got to be so freeing being able to now do this.
Tirzah Shirai [00:33:39]:
Know. So we've nicknamed the Venusian School of Business VSB. So if I say VSB, one of the things that was a big passion of mine is people from propping that ladder up against the wrong wall. Right. So you're going to work hard, you're going to set your goals. If that's what you want to do and you do still want to climb, then I want to make sure that you have that ladder or you're heading towards the top summit that you want to. Because I got to the top and I looked around and went, wait, I might need to be on that other one over there, or I might need to go back down. So, yeah, I think that's the beauty of where we're at right now, is we get to redefine all of these things.
Tirzah Shirai [00:34:24]:
Right? What it means to be a leader, what it means to be a parent, what it means to be successful and to leave a legacy for this world and for our children. Yes.
Lindsey Epperly [00:34:35]:
And I'm curious, just as the mother of two daughters, what that looks like for you, because you lean into such a strong feminine energy, you talk a lot. I mean, you are such a strong female mentor, and you're raising a son. And I'm so curious how the intentionality, what you're pulling, how that goes into raising arrow, what that looks like.
Tirzah Shirai [00:34:54]:
Yeah, that's such a great question. I think the more I truly land in my own feminine embodiment, I would say the only thing with Arrow that I want to do is just celebrate his. I mean, for those that don't know Arrow, he's about as masculine a little boy as you could get. He definitely inhabits that space. And I think a lot of that is me just celebrating the masculine. I mean, I love men. I love everything that they provide in the world. And it's so beautiful to see from such a young age.
Tirzah Shirai [00:35:34]:
As soon as he could, he wants to open that door. He wants to help mom. He wants to carry that bag. And so I think for me, it's honoring that very masculine impulse that is emanating from this beautiful soul that is my son. And it's a delight to watch that come alive in him and to just honor it every day.
Lindsey Epperly [00:35:56]:
I love that answer. I think that that actually speaks to kind of the direction that I would love to see culture at large going.
Tirzah Shirai [00:36:03]:
Right.
Lindsey Epperly [00:36:03]:
Like, we've had this. These past few years when it comes to tension around movements that feel like they're kind of forcing men out of the room and not necessarily honoring the good that the great men do bring to the table. And then there's this expectation sometimes that women should step into all of the roles, even the ones that we're not really the best at. I love the posture of, let's celebrate how we are each wired, the gifts that we each bring to the table and appreciate one another for that. That's a really great way of looking at it.
Tirzah Shirai [00:36:35]:
Yeah, I absolutely love that. And I agree. There's been a lot of conversations. I know, even in my YPO world, where there's less than a few percent women, I've always held that space of really honoring that impulse in our society because I think when people around me make comments, I go, hey, you realize I'm raising this little boy. And so I think there's a lot of healing that has taken place over the past few years. And I think the more we focus on, look, this epoch is all about individuals being able to do that dance within one person, between the masculine and the feminine. Right. And that's why at BSB, we focus on, hey, most people feel more comfortable in one area of their business.
Tirzah Shirai [00:37:25]:
Either it's the creative aspect and coming up with ideas, or it's the doing and more operational. But the true gifts lie when we honor both sides and we develop both sides, and we can feel comfortable navigating the other side that maybe doesn't feel as comfortable for us. And ironically, for me, up until a few years ago, I felt less comfortable in allowing that feminine into the business world. I thought the message that I received growing up was, hey, you got to show up like a man. You got to work harder than a man. You got to wear the suit, you've got to use the language. And I have completely thrown that out because I think it's a disservice to women and it's even more importantly, a massive disservice to the world and to men at large as well.
Lindsey Epperly [00:38:21]:
Yeah, what a cool way of looking at that, too. And I think you're such a poster child for even being able to say, let's honor both sides of who we are, because you've chosen this path of, I will be a single mother and I will be a solopreneur, and you're doing the work that a lot of people would say, well, I need a partner before I even begin this journey. And you are saying, no, I'm going to take everything that I have and bring it to the table and celebrate all of those sides in order to do it myself. And I think you are incredibly independent and such an inspiration because of that.
Tirzah Shirai [00:38:53]:
Oh, thank you so much. I mean, I wouldn't say it's something I actively was like, I will seek out. Yeah. It was how my life unfolded as the purest expression of, I guess, why I came here. And it's not that I'm committed to always being. Of course. Yeah. I absolutely embrace it.
Tirzah Shirai [00:39:14]:
There are so many gifts in both paths, right? Yes. And so I think for me, it's about being open and really seeing the gifts that that has brought. Right. It really has. I mean, even when raising my son, I have to inhabit these different spaces. Right. Being a solopreneur, you have to embrace these two different wings, as we call them.
Lindsey Epperly [00:39:36]:
Yeah, absolutely. Okay, so I have just a couple more questions for you. With the first being, we're talking a lot about our children and how they inspire us every day. And this question I ask universally to all of my guests because it's something that we ask one another at the dinner table every night, which is what made you smile today. So what is your recent happy, as Mila calls it?
Tirzah Shirai [00:39:55]:
My recent happy with my son or just in life?
Lindsey Epperly [00:39:58]:
Just what, today, the past 24 hours? What is something you are celebrating that made you happy right now?
Tirzah Shirai [00:40:04]:
Gosh. I mean, I think this is part of the redefining success. I think just sitting out on my porch, having a coffee with my son, watching, all the leaves have gone, and you can see the little cardinals. Those small moments, for me have taken on a whole new meaning of being present and being fully connected. And so my recent happy was even this morning in this incredibly simple moment, beautiful.
Lindsey Epperly [00:40:33]:
For listeners who want to find out more about what you're doing, to follow along, as everyone should, because it is fascinating watching Tirza and the trajectory that she's going on. And the Venezian School of Business, I'm so excited to see everything you come out with. What is the best place for them to do so?
Tirzah Shirai [00:40:49]:
Thank you. So you can go to the venusian school of business. And you can also go, I'm sure we'll link in the show notes below as well. And you can also on Instagram. We're at Venusian School of Business.
Lindsey Epperly [00:41:03]:
Awesome.
Tirzah Shirai [00:41:03]:
Thank you.
Lindsey Epperly [00:41:04]:
Tirza. This was a really inspirational and beautiful conversation as I can always expect from you. Thank you for your time.
Tirzah Shirai [00:41:10]:
So lovely. Until next time. Thank you, Lindsay.