Episode 3 / Carlos Whittaker
Carlos Whittaker on Slowing Down to Increase Your Impact
What You'll Learn in This Episode:
The subtle yet powerful ways we can make others feel seen and appreciated, beyond materialistic gestures.
How the words of others can influence our belief in our leadership ability and how to overcome these imposed limitations.
Strategies to combat the overwhelming effects of content consumption and to engage more intentionally with the world around us.
The concept of "jumping for joy" and finding happiness in the small, everyday moments of life.
The significance of embracing a slower pace in life for deeper connections and meaningful conversations.
About Carlos Whittaker
Carlos Whittaker is an author, podcaster, and renowned global speaker famously known for spreading rays of hope across communities. He courageously shares his life lessons and experiences, drawing upon his own challenges to empower others. Carlos is a spirited family man, living with his wife Heather and three children on their family farm in Nashville. He's become a social media powerhouse, backed by his dedicated "Insta familia," and has touched people worldwide with his teachings on what it means to be human. Carlos has poured his thoughts into written works, including books that delve into life's intricate moments and how to navigate them with grace.
Carlos Whittaker, whose viral social media platform spreads hope to all humanity, shares intriguing insights into the journey of self-discovery, leadership, and living with authenticity. Listen as we unravel the layers behind feeling seen, the impact of others' perceptions on our self-belief, and the importance of slowing down in a fast-paced world, all while touching upon the challenges of modern content consumption. Carlos's story is a tapestry of identity, integrity, and joy that promises to leave you questioning and redefining what it means to truly be the boss of your own life.
“Don't stand on issues, walk with people. That is the way to common ground.”
Carlos Whittaker
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Lindsey Epperly [00:00:12]:
Welcome to Who Made You The Boss? A podcast for recovering workaholics. I'm your host, Lindsey Epperly, and I invite you to embark on a transformative journey. Our mission on who made you the boss is clear. We're here to tackle the unique challenges that today's professionals face. We're bringing you insightful conversations with a diverse range of entrepreneurs, executives and creatives all who have forged their own paths. And I'm sharing some of the stories of my decades long career as a leader of my company, Jetset World Travel. So listen in and you'll learn how to turn obstacles into opportunities, how to create impact instead of just being impacted by your struggles, and how to uncover our true identities along the way.
Lindsey Epperly [00:00:51]:
Together, we will be exploring how you too can continue doing the work you love without sacrificing your entire self in the process. So, whether you are a seasoned professional or just starting out on your journey, join us each week as we unravel the mysteries of leadership, self discovery and the pursuit of fulfillment. It is time to redefine what it means to be the boss of your own life. Let's dive in and together we'll discover who made you the Boss. Welcome friends to who made you the boss. Today we are diving into a world of inspiration, connection and empowerment as we introduce you to a remarkable individual who's been spreading hope to countless hearts around the globe. I am excited to bring you my conversation with Carlos Whitaker. He is an author, a podcaster, and just a captivating global speaker.
Lindsey Epperly [00:01:45]:
But he is not just any influencer. He's backed by an extraordinary Insta familia, a vibrant online community that gathers daily to unite with him in the quest for connection, for goodness and a sense of belonging. And I'm proud to say that since I've discovered Carlos, I've also been part of the Insta familia and I have loved being part of the community, especially when he's doing these amazing giving drives. He's going to talk a little bit about that today, but I was actually talking to him before we started recording about the insane number of friends that we now have in common. It's like as soon as I was introduced to his work, I'd be speaking with someone who would talk about their friend Carlos and turns out it's the same Carlos, or just this really cool guy they follow on social media los and then the light bulb would go off. There's Carlos Whitaker just meeting the entire world and teaching us how to do so as well, and how to be human. So after speaking with him today, I can confirm that Carlos truly does have a superpower. His team told me this.
Lindsey Epperly [00:02:37]:
Now I believe it. He creates spaces both in the digital realm and in real life, where people just truly feel seen and heard. These are safe havens for candid conversations about the most significant, yet most neglected topics. And his motto is simple, but very profound. It is. Don't stand on issues, walk with people and we will get exactly into what that means and how we can truly just meet people where they are, even our haters. He's going to share a really powerful story about something that happened just today to him beyond the professional realm. Carlos is a dedicated family man.
Lindsey Epperly [00:03:14]:
He and his wife Heather have carved out a beautiful life in the heart of Nashville alongside their three incredible children. You'll usually find them tending to their family farm, planning an exhilarating adventure or caught in the act of dancing to Single Ladies. It's an oldie butted goodie when it comes to his videos because as the parent of a toddler, which his kids were at the time, this video went viral, this made me simultaneously laugh and cry. So definitely go check it out. I think it'll do the same for you. So, listeners, I hope you are ready to embark on a journey of inspiration as we delve into the life and mission of a man who's really making a difference in the world. Stay tuned as we sit down with Carlos Whitaker to explore the power of hope, community and the art of truly connecting with people on today's episode of Who Made You the Boss? Awesome, Carlos. I am so excited.
Lindsey Epperly [00:04:06]:
After just minor technical difficulties that we are able to jump on now, no big deal.
Carlos Whittaker [00:04:11]:
Minor technical difficulties overcome already. We're overcoming things already.
Lindsey Epperly [00:04:16]:
You know, that's what we're talking about today. Everyone knows it's Monday, right? So let's dive right in. I'm excited. I've told the listeners a little bit about you, but we have people from all different walks of life, different roles. One thing we all have in common is I think we have this deep rooted belief that we are leaders. And whether we are leading from a boardroom or from our living rooms, there's this kind of moment where we have to look ourselves in the mirror and say, I'm going to be the boss of my own life, right? Like, I'm ready to do that. And hence the name of the podcast, who made you the boss? I am curious. Who made you the boss? Carlos, tell us more about your journey.
Carlos Whittaker [00:04:54]:
To becoming a um, for the longest time, just kind of viewed myself as the guy on the team that had talent, the guy on the team that had woo, the guy on the team that could get a lot of people to like him. And all those things and all of those things that I had in my eyes never made me a leader, never made me a boss. Never made me and so, not only that, but I also had a boss in a certain season of my life that made sure to tell me that. Well, Carlos, listen, you're really good on stage. You're really good doing this, but I don't know if I trust you leading actual employees like you're really good in front of an audience, but I just don't know if you're if you have the capacity for leadership in that way. And here's the thing, is I heard that and I started just living in that lie that I guess I'm not a leader. I don't have the capacity to lead humans, but I can lead thousands of people on a stage, but I guess I can't lead one employee. And so it's so crazy, right, how other people's words can put a limit on really you achieving and breaking through some of those things.
Carlos Whittaker [00:06:14]:
And suddenly I started believing these lies that I'm not my own boss. I'm not a boss. And I just tell you, it took a lot of therapy. It took me realizing almost accidentally one day I kind of turned around and I looked at my phone and I was like, wait a second. It's like a hundred thousand people that are listening to what I have to say every day and then doing what I ask them to, then so wait a second, doesn't this make me a know? And so it was almost this accidental realization that, Carlos, you have to break past these lies that somebody put on me 20 years ago. I'm talking about I was 25 years old when somebody told me this, that you're not a leader. You're just a hype guy. Just be the MC.
Carlos Whittaker [00:07:03]:
That's who you are. And I feel like I lived for about 15 years under that until I had to look in the mirror and go, wait a second. You don't have to live your entire life based on a lie that one person told you. You can kind of break past that. And so for me, I think it really only started like, seven years ago where I really made myself the boss and said, no, not only am I worthy, but I'm leading. And I'm leading thousands of people. And people are healing because of the words I'm saying and all sorts of things. And so, yeah, that's kind of my journey as to how I ended up believing in myself enough to be able to say, no, I'm the boss.
Lindsey Epperly [00:07:48]:
That is beautiful. And I think your entire Insta familia is really thankful that you have done that.
Carlos Whittaker [00:07:55]:
Absolutely. No. Yeah. I can't believe I get to do what I do.
Lindsey Epperly [00:08:00]:
Absolutely. I actually mentioned this in the intro, but I'm so thrilled to be a part of what you're doing now, too, because it's like buying into an instant community. I mean, you've really cultivated a special place.
Carlos Whittaker [00:08:11]:
Yeah, it's pretty cool. No, I have. And it didn't come without nicks and bruises. But I am proud of the community that I've built and of the change that I feel like we're placing in the world. The impact that we're making in people's lives. Maybe one person here, one person there. But it's cool to see it tangibly that we can actually make a difference.
Lindsey Epperly [00:08:38]:
Right, well, and your whole model of don't stand on issues, but walk with people, it feels like you embody that every single day. Did that come early on to you or is that something that kind of developed over the course of leading?
Carlos Whittaker [00:08:49]:
Definitely that was developed. Definitely. I wasn't know in my young adult days. Like, I'm just going to walk with people. I'm not going to stand, I'm not going to point fingers. No, that's something that I had to work into. And I had a friend of mine I didn't come up with that phrase. My friend Mike Ashcroft, who's a pastor in Wilmington, South Carolina or North Carolina, I can't remember where Wilmington is, but he is the one that told me that was a decade ago.
Carlos Whittaker [00:09:17]:
He's like, Well, Carlos, don't stand on issues. Walk with people. And I just remember my jaw dropped and I was like, oh my gosh, this is how I'm going to live every day the rest of my life. And it's just proved, it's like almost scientifically proven now the whole don't stand on issues, walk with people, that that is the way to common ground. That is the way to be able to have difficult conversations with people that you love without losing relationships. That's the way to have difficult conversations with strangers. I'll give you an example. Even this morning, somebody DM'd me on Instagram and they were like, hey, I don't know if you saw this, but there's a guy named Blankety Blank.
Carlos Whittaker [00:09:59]:
He's got 200,000 followers he's critiquing on his YouTube channel. One of your talks. I was like, oh, okay. And so I go on this dude for an hour and a half is just nitpicking every little thing I said, nitpicking. He's like, this actually isn't true if you look at the context of this, right? And so this guy's got a lot of people that follow him. So I initially felt like, oh no, you know what I'm going to do? I'm going to prove him wrong on everything he said. So my immediate human response is not to walk with people, right? And after I sat for about five minutes and I was like, you know what? I don't know what I'm going to do. So I went to his Instagram account and I thanked him.
Carlos Whittaker [00:10:43]:
I said, I just want to thank you for your critique. You actually brought up some really good points. Obviously, we're not going to agree on everything that you brought up, and I'm not going to go into the things I don't agree with. But I do want to tell you here's two things that I am going to change about my talk because of what you said. I'm telling you, he was blown away. He DM me the longest thing apologizing for how feisty he was. I didn't even accuse him of being feisty. It's like he's self reflected because suddenly someone walked with him.
Carlos Whittaker [00:11:12]:
So it's just the way to do it. It's pretty cool.
Lindsey Epperly [00:11:16]:
It is amazing. Well, you wrote an entire book about it, too, and how to Human. I read it recently, actually, when my little girl was just three weeks old. I'm getting into it. I'm like, how do I human, and how do I human this as a parent? And you've got the subtitle of three ways to share life beyond what distracts and divides us. Right. And those three ways are to be human, to see humans, and to free humans. I think that is applicable to anyone with a pulse, right?
Carlos Whittaker [00:11:44]:
Absolutely.
Lindsey Epperly [00:11:45]:
How do professionals do that? What does that look like in the workplace?
Carlos Whittaker [00:11:49]:
Well, you have to understand before you can human well, for other people, you have to human wealth for yourself, which is I think a lot of people want to like, well, I want to fix these relationships. I want to be a good leader in the workplace. I've got all these other people around me that if I really put my mind to it, I probably can help them. But I'm always like, wait, you got to slow down before you can even start that conversation. You got to look at yourself. You got to look in the mirror. You got to see, how human am I actually being? Right? And so that's why the first step is to be human. Right.
Carlos Whittaker [00:12:26]:
I could have started off the book with see humans, see other people around you and then free them. Well, no, we have to figure it out on our own first. And so the hardest thing for people to do with the whole be human piece is what I like to say live at 3 miles an hour, because that's the speed at which a human being walks. And so I'm constantly asking people, okay, so since we were literally created to move at 3 miles an hour, let's take a look at what in our life moves at 3 miles an hour. And 99.99% of things that we exist in and we do are not moving at 3 miles an hour. So, I mean, there's that first step. It's like, you want to have the capacity to have the crucial conversations you need to have with your teammates, with your coworkers, with your direct reports, with whoever it is you want to have the capacity. You're actually going to have to slow down every single thing that you do, even the pace that I'm talking to.
Lindsey Epperly [00:13:32]:
But it's infuriating, Carlos.
Carlos Whittaker [00:13:34]:
Isn't that difficult driving you crazy? I do this when I talk on this all the time, especially when I do it in corporate clients, because get to the point, man. Come on, let's get to the point. We got things to do. We got to hustle. We got to go. No, I'm telling you, the key to our humanity, the key to being able to get back to what we were created to be, is literally to get back to 3 miles an hour. And that is that be human piece. What is it that you're doing outside of your job that brings you joy? What is it? That actually one of the questions I ask is we use the phrase and we've heard the phrase our entire lives.
Carlos Whittaker [00:14:14]:
Oh, yeah, jump for joy. Well, actually, when was the last time that your body left the Earth because you leapt up because of joy? We actually have to think about that. It's like, well, I don't know if I've done that for a long time. Well, go back to whatever you were doing when that happened and do more of it. Right. Do more of it. And again, I don't want to blame the thing in my hand, which I'm holding my phone, but let's just blame it. We don't know how to slow down anymore because we're constantly consuming.
Carlos Whittaker [00:14:44]:
Constantly consuming. It one of the points of my next book, which is coming out next year. I do a super deep dive into our souls and technology and the fact that our souls and our psyche don't have the capacity to consume the amount of content we consume. And so no wonder we're so agitated, no wonder we're so opinionated, no wonder we're so all of these things that really lessen our humanity because we're taking on more than we were created to take on. So what are things you can do? Like don't charge your phone next to the bed, leave it in the kitchen charging so that you just go to sleep reading a book and you don't wake up to your phone and start swiping for 15 minutes. There's studies that show that the average American consumes more content and information the first 15 minutes we're awake than our great grandparents consumed in a month. And so it just goes to show we weren't created for that. So that's the whole be human piece, right.
Carlos Whittaker [00:15:46]:
I got a lot of examples in the book on how you can slow down, lower the volume of life. But I do believe that it's vital for us to do that in order to get to the next steps, which are see humans and free humans.
Lindsey Epperly [00:15:58]:
Yeah, absolutely. Well, you had a really great podcast recently about slowing down and even removing news from your life and how that works and everything. That was very fascinating to hear. And I feel like I hear the term compassion fatigue thrown around a lot these days, too, because of how much we are taking on of everyone else's burdens. It feels counterintuitive to being human, to over compassioning. Right. But it's actually monitoring ourselves so that we are not taking on too much, so that we can actually meet people where they are.
Carlos Whittaker [00:16:30]:
Yes. I do these giving blitzes on my Instagram, right, where I raise money in 24 hours and people ask me, why don't you do it more? Why don't you do it every day? Why doesn't it just become your thing? Because there's a lot of TikTok accounts and Instagram accounts where that's the thing. They find people, they give them money. And I'm like, honestly, it's because there is actual fatigue. There's giving fatigue. There is compassion fatigue. There is fatigue. This sounds horrible saying it, but in caring for more than you're capable of caring for.
Carlos Whittaker [00:17:06]:
And so I was talking to my friend Kaylee the other day, and she has this thing where she talks about that we were literally only created like our capacity was to create was created to care for our local community, like the butcher, the people at our schools, the people in our community. Once we expand past that, we start getting into some fatigue. So we have to be careful with how much we're consuming, how much news we're consuming. The angriest people that you know literally are the angriest people are the ones that consume the most news. I'm telling you, this isn't scientifically proven, but it is proven in my circles that the people that are just angry all the time are the people that are on Twitter consuming news all day long. Why in the world would you want to waste your days? Like know, take a step back, consume less. It's okay to consume important things. I think it's great that we know things around the world, but just make sure that you don't get fatigued.
Carlos Whittaker [00:18:04]:
Fatigued. That you don't fatigue the muscle that you should be using every day to impact people's lives.
Lindsey Epperly [00:18:10]:
Absolutely. Oh, man, preach. It's so true. And I think I'm thinking back to I have consumed a lot of your content recently because I've been learning more and more about what you're doing and the impact that you're making. But to your point, it's being self aware of what is applicable and what makes sense for my life and where do I want to bring this? And you actually had a really great point in your book at one point that it was funny. You open up this chapter where you're talking about I want you to say this out loud, right? I want you to say these four words out loud, and then you go, unless you're like, nursing your newborn baby. And because I read this book while I was literally nursing my newborn baby, I was like, I don't think you meant that for real. But I feel it.
Lindsey Epperly [00:18:53]:
And I was in this season where all I was saying to myself was, I can't do this. I don't want to be a mom of two kids. I can't do this. I can't leave this company. I can't come back into this with, I mean, just all of the insecurities, right?
Carlos Whittaker [00:19:03]:
Yeah.
Lindsey Epperly [00:19:04]:
And the four words that you have us say is, I can do this. And so I'm just so curious to hear a little bit more about because that part is all about in meeting humans where they are, right? Like in freeing humans. So can you tell us a little bit more about that.
Carlos Whittaker [00:19:18]:
Yeah, absolutely. So once you get to the space where, okay, I've slowed down, maybe I have got more capacity to enter into some spaces where I'm helping other people. The next step isn't I think we want to skip from being to freeing. We want to skip from like, okay, I've slowed down enough. Now let's go help. Let's go help. Let's go help. Well, before you can help somebody, you got to see somebody.
Carlos Whittaker [00:19:44]:
It's not as complicated as we want it to be. Like, no, the next step is simply go find somebody that is nothing like you. Go find those people, actually, those people that probably drive you crazy. And just like I gave you the example of this morning, all I did with the guy on Instagram with his YouTube critiquing of me was see him. I literally just saw him. I didn't try to fix him. I didn't try to free him. I just saw him, and he was so grateful.
Carlos Whittaker [00:20:15]:
You know what happened? I saw all of a sudden, it said followed. Like, he followed me on Instagram. First he was critiquing me, now he followed me. Why? Because I saw him. Now guess what I get to do next. Maybe next I get to have a conversation. So maybe you don't have to be so much of an ahole while you're on YouTube critiquing people's talks, right? But what I did is, by seeing him, it invited me into relationship, and he invited me into relationship, and now I can start digging into maybe some harder things. So step number two after B isn't free.
Carlos Whittaker [00:20:47]:
It's C, and it's really simple. You get to see people every single day. When you're at the grocery store, if you're at Starbucks, if you're at the fast food restaurant, whatever it is, every single time TSA line say the person. If they got a name tag on, say their name. Just look at them. And thank you, Jackie, like, so much. Oh, thank Ben. Like, I really appreciate when you say someone's just they felt like all the people in TSA that yell at these workers as they're going through the line, when they get one person that says their name and says thank you to felt they feel seen, you can change the trajectory of their entire day.
Carlos Whittaker [00:21:24]:
This is the easy part, and honestly, it's the most fun part. So that's that next step is seeing people.
Lindsey Epperly [00:21:30]:
I could not agree with that more because I was raised by a very intentional father who taught me, go up, shake someone's hand, ask how their day is going today, and I have found ten times out of ten, when you ask someone, how's your day going so far? How's your day going today? It's like they stop because they don't expect to be asked about themselves. And it allows you to make that human connection. I love that about seeing people. What makes you feel seen?
Carlos Whittaker [00:21:54]:
Oh, man, I feel seen when somebody doesn't just ask me how I'm doing. And then when I say fine, they stop again. They go, no, really, how are you doing? And I'm like, oh, yeah. So you really want to see me, right? So that's when I feel seen, is how are you really? And then I also feel seen. Another way to see people that I feel seen is when I get like it's funny because I'm not a gift giver, but when somebody gives me a gift, that really shows that they know me here. Listen, I'm middle aged. I can go buy whatever I want to buy in order to make myself feel whatever it is, shopping wise. I can go buy myself things, right? But like, my brother, for my birthday this year, I was like, oh, I wonder what he sent me something in the mail.
Carlos Whittaker [00:22:49]:
And I open it up and I start dying laughing. And it was my favorite present I got. It was these three action figures, these three figurines. And there was this movie that I loved when I was, like, in fourth grade that no one on the planet would know. It was called break into electric Boogaloo. It was a break dancing movie where it was made in the 80s, right? And these break dancers and I know every rap from that movie. Nobody knows this about me. My brother found three action figures from that movie.
Carlos Whittaker [00:23:17]:
I don't even know how he found this from that movie that no one's ever heard of, sent me these action figures, and I was like, oh, my God. I was freaking out my family's. Like, what is that? Who are they? But I felt seen, right? Like, I felt seen. So find ways to do that, to truly see people beyond what everyone else is seeing them for. Oh, my gosh, that's really going to make their lives I love that.
Lindsey Epperly [00:23:39]:
I love that. Well, and it's so neat because you do such a great job of displaying when people make you feel that way. I saw your story recently about the gentleman who you go through the airport, you see him every time. And unfortunately, your trip recently was your wife's grandmother passed away, right? And the way he made you feel.
Carlos Whittaker [00:23:57]:
Seen in that, you know, I told the story on my Instagram where his name's Tony. And I've seen him in the Delta Sky Club in Nashville for a I just I see him almost every he's always it's always so incredible because every time I walk in there, he's like, Mr. Whitaker? And I'm like, does he know everybody's name that comes and sure, like, I'll just stand by the front. He says everyone's name when they walk in. I'm like, how does this man know? But he makes us feel seen. So sure enough, my whole family goes in there. He loves seeing my family. We tell him why we're going to a funeral.
Carlos Whittaker [00:24:27]:
He's like, oh, my condolences. I was like, okay, cool. Thanks, Tony. Like, you care? So I get on the flight, and then sure enough, I see him walk onto the plane, and I'm like, why is Tony from the Sky Club on the like, why is he on the airplane? And I was thinking, did somebody leave something in the Sky Club? Maybe he came to return it. And he walks right up to me. He's like, I just want to let you know, Mr. Whitaker, my condolences. So I made you a card.
Carlos Whittaker [00:24:52]:
You and the family. Here you go. It was so cute. Like, I opened it up, he's like, gone to the Internet, like, printed out, like, my Sympathies card, signed it, tony cut it out with scissors, taped it together, made the little envelope. And I'm just telling you, that was one of the best times I've been seen in a long time. Like, I felt the most seen there. Right? He didn't have to do that, but it was simple and it was powerful.
Lindsey Epperly [00:25:19]:
Oh, my gosh, that's beautiful. I work and travel for a living, and so for the most part, we're typically working with people as they're happy, happy and going on their vacations. And the longest time, I would think, just if you're in an airport, everyone's happy, everyone's going to great destinations, everyone's excited, and then you travel sometime for something devastating, or I personally had to travel for a very difficult medical journey myself. And I remember being in the airport at that time and looking around and realizing, oh, my God. You just don't know what the person next to you is going through.
Carlos Whittaker [00:25:47]:
Absolutely.
Lindsey Epperly [00:25:47]:
Unless you're willing to meet them and see them. Yeah. I'm curious because we talked about our technical difficulties as obstacles that we've overcome, but we talk a lot on this podcast about what I call the monsters that save US. And to me, this is faith based. For me, this is from the story of Jonah in the Bible. And this idea that the whale was the monster that saved Jonah, right? Like, he's thrown into the ocean and he's losing, and then this gigantic beast of a whale that has to be terrifying swallows him whole. And that's actually the thing that saved him. That's what delivered him to his redemption, right, that's made him who he was meant to become.
Lindsey Epperly [00:26:23]:
And I think we all have those catalysts, and I'm just curious to hear a little bit more. Was there a situation in your life, personally and professionally, that you feel like just kind of made you at first you thought, this thing's going to break me, and then ultimately it's what made you?
Carlos Whittaker [00:26:39]:
I would go pretty recently. Recently is like 2020, I think before that, yeah. Maybe every five years I've got something like that that kind of propels me. The most recent would definitely be in 2020 when the world was upside down and there's protests everywhere and people are mad. About this and mad about that. And I made a decision to go on my Instagram and talk about something that I felt was talk about justice, something that I felt was important, that I actually never talk about, like I never before this talked about this. And I wrote about this in my book, and I posted a video trying to help people see humans. Well, when I posted that video, overnight, I lost thousands and thousands of followers, almost a third of my followers on Instagram that I'd spent a decade building.
Carlos Whittaker [00:27:30]:
And that was a moment where I almost went back and deleted the video so that I could keep the peace and keep my 30,000 followers, get them back, apologize. But the catalyst moment, the monster for me, was sitting down here in my basement, staring at my phone, going like, oh, my gosh, I'd been thrown into the ocean. I've been swallowed by a whale. I don't know which way is up. I don't know which way is down. And I almost deleted it, thinking that would pump me out of the whale's mouth and get me back on dry land. But instead, I just felt like, honestly, faith based for me, I felt like God was telling me, no, this is your new calling. This is your new journey.
Carlos Whittaker [00:28:12]:
You are going to start speaking to things that are difficult for people to hear, but you're going to say it in ways that make them feel safe. So I didn't delete it. I left it up there. And sure enough, week after week, maybe it was 11,000, I can't remember people that I followed, more people started showing up. Then it was 30,000, 60,000, 100,000, 200,000. Next thing you know, I'm sitting here with close to 300,000 people that listen to what I'm saying every day because I didn't delete that video. If I would have deleted that video, who knows what I would be doing right now? But because I made a decision to go with my heart and go with my gut, it changed everything for me.
Lindsey Epperly [00:28:56]:
Absolutely.
Carlos Whittaker [00:28:58]:
That was probably the most kind of recent monster that made me moment.
Lindsey Epperly [00:29:03]:
Yeah. Well, it's so fascinating hearing your story, because your story is so much about finding your identity, right? Like, real identity, and how if you had taken that video down, how that wouldn't have been living from a place of integrity. What is true to yourself as who is Carlos becoming, and how does he step into that next phase of his really powerful testimony? I loved reading about it in the book. So it's funny because you've already mentioned this, and I picked up on this in some of your posts as well, about the jumping for joy moment, right? Like, what has recently made you jump for joy? And my husband and I started asking each other my husband's, my business partner, and we started asking each other this question during the pandemic, right when things were just absolutely leveled for the hospitality industry. And every day we would go on these we called them LFWs or little Effing walks, right? Because we're like nothing else to do. And we'd go on our little Effing walk and we would say, what was one thing that made you smile today? And these were days where we're literally having to choose between like, do we keep our business or do we keep our home? What does this look like? This is not a day where there's a lot of smiles, but it reminded us to be gracious, and we haven't stopped that question. Now our toddler asks, she says, what's your happy today? But jumping for joy would have been a little bit of a big ask during that time. And I'm curious if you want to dive in a little bit deeper.
Lindsey Epperly [00:30:19]:
What is the most recent thing that's made you jump for joy or at least made you smile?
Carlos Whittaker [00:30:23]:
Oh my gosh, I just turned 50 this last week. So actually a week ago today as we're recording this podcast. Thank you. And it's so funny because it's like the last three years, I've just turned into the biggest SAP. Like, I just cry over everything. I'm just so grateful for every little moment. It's funny because I think everybody does, right? When I went from 30 to 40, I'm like, oh my gosh, I'm getting so old and what's my purpose? And then 30 to 40 was really hard. But 40 to 50, it's been the greatest season for me.
Carlos Whittaker [00:31:08]:
I feel like I jump for joy almost for everything that makes my heart leap. Like, I literally when I woke up, I was like, how freaking grateful should I be? I used to be like, I don't want to turn 50. Well, you know what? The other option is dying. So I'm grateful to actually be living and healthy. I try to really savor is a big part of my next book. And savoring, it's something that is scientifically proven now. There's studies on savoring and scientifically proven that if you savor, you're going to jump for joy more. If you savor things, you're going to really live a more purposeful, fulfilling, slower life.
Carlos Whittaker [00:31:59]:
Jumping for joy may not be what I'm answering right now, but really what brings me joy is honestly savoring everything. I mean, every bite of food that I take now, I'm just kind of looking at it. I'm just so grateful for this. Like, I'm going to taste it. I'm going to go what it is. But here's the thing people need to realize when you're appreciating things, even the most beautiful thing, you're going to get used to it, right? You're going to get used to it. And so a lot of times you have to make sure that you remove yourself for whatever that looks like for a moment so that you can come back and savor again. When you're in a say you walk into a bakery and you first walk in, you're like, oh, my gosh, it smells amazing in here, right? You smell the croissants and all the things, and you sit there and you have your cappuccino, and five minutes later, someone walks in and goes, oh, my gosh, it smells amazing.
Carlos Whittaker [00:32:48]:
And all of a sudden, you realize, I don't smell it anymore. I've gotten used to it. So the only way to smell it again is to walk outside and to walk back in. And so I'm constantly reminding myself, how is it that I can reenter the joy that I may be losing? It's just something that I think is really important that we all do.
Lindsey Epperly [00:33:08]:
Oh, my goodness. We're going to have to have you back on whenever you have that book written because it sounds like you're teaching people to be present so that they can see people and be with them, where they a whole it's a way to live. It's how to be human.
Carlos Whittaker [00:33:21]:
Absolutely beautiful. It is absolutely beautiful.
Lindsey Epperly [00:33:23]:
Well, Carlos, we are so thankful for your time today. And I'm curious, actually, tell us just really briefly before you go about the Insta familia, because I feel like that's probably the best place for people to find you, right?
Carlos Whittaker [00:33:34]:
Yes.
Lindsey Epperly [00:33:35]:
Joining in on Instagram.
Carlos Whittaker [00:33:36]:
Absolutely. Instagram was where I hang out most of the time. If you go to Twitter and follow me, it's just me angry about sports. If you come to Instagram, I'm like, I get to talk about everything. But yeah, at Loswit L-O-S-W-H-I-T on Instagram and know I'm on there, it's a pretty random account of my entire life. It's not really niche focused. I'm not just, like, talking about certain. I'm talking about everything there.
Carlos Whittaker [00:34:03]:
And so it's fun. We have a good time, we do good things, we have hard conversations. And I just think it's a place where people can come and be their true selves. No matter what you believe, if you're on the left, you're the right, you're on the up, you're the down. Like you're invited. You're welcome. And I'd be grateful if you showed up.
Lindsey Epperly [00:34:20]:
Love it. Thank you. Carlos. I feel like you are doing incredible things in the world just by showing up yourself. So we really, really appreciate the work that you're doing and for tapping yourself on the shoulder and believing in yourself as a leader.
Carlos Whittaker [00:34:29]:
Let's go. Thanks, friends.
Lindsey Epperly [00:34:36]:
My lovely listeners, that brings us to the end of today's episode. I hope you enjoyed this conversation as much as I did, and if you gained some valuable insights today, we would love to hear from you. So just take a moment, leave us a five star rating and review on your favorite podcast platform. Your feedback really helps make who made you the boss? A podcast that can resonate and empower for all professionals. Make sure you stay connected with us by visiting lindsayeperly.com, where you can subscribe to our newsletter and ensure you never miss an episode or an exciting update. And also, don't forget to connect with us on social media, especially Instagram and LinkedIn. You can join our community of like minded individuals who are redefining what it means to be the boss of their own lives. Thanks again for being part of our journey.
Lindsey Epperly [00:35:17]:
And until next time, remember you have the power to shape your destiny. So keep leading, keep learning, and most importantly, keep being the boss of your own own. Incredible story.