Unleashing Growth Series: Lessons from Leading
It’s remarkable how a few choice words can change the trajectory of your entire life. For me, the statement "the tighter you cling, the slower you’ll grow" set the stage for a complex dance with control. I’d long struggled with the illusion of all I thought was in my control, until a 24-month journey relinquished my death grip on my life. In my eye-opening encounters of loss, I have come to appreciate the nuanced power of letting go. By understanding where control is an illusion and where it can be leveraged as an asset to your life, you’ll be inspired to take the reigns personally and professionally to reach your full potential, including in times of obstacles which, when using this framework, can be transformed into opportunity.
Why do we first seek to be in complete control? Likely because it’s a sturdy crutch, especially in unpredictable times. However, the deep groove of this routine creates a breeding ground for bigger issues.
I spent my twenties as a travel advisor, which meant I was privileged to visit some of the best destinations and hotels in the world, but also meant a constant balancing act between serving an ever-growing list of clients, battling my own imposter syndrome, and navigating the demands of an industry and activity that spun perilously outside of my control.
Traveling very well may be the best teacher in the art of letting go of control — well, that or parenting, but we’ll get to the latter eventually. Over the next few weeks, I’ll bring you my takes on how we can relinquish control in each of these arenas, starting with how accepting partnership leveled up my leadership.
You Can’t Do It All Alone: Accepting Partnership and Leveraging Your Superpowers
To relinquish control entirely would be as unwise as to deny it when necessary. There exists an art to control, a strategic implementation that can sharpen one's professional edge and fortify personal development. By warily choosing our battles, we can surge ahead with confidence and direction, staying true to our vision while allowing the ebb and flow of life to guide us.
In business, being at the helm often means understanding when to tighten the ship’s course and when to loosen the sail to the winds of change. While my life has followed the course of entrepreneurship, I’ve found this is true of any leadership opportunities.
My entrepreneurial journey has been a rollercoaster of emotions, filled with moments of triumph, self-doubt, and profound realizations. It all began when I started my company, Jetset World Travel (formerly known as Epperly Travel). I was good at creating something from scratch, turning visions into reality. However, I struggled with the operational side of things, like establishing processes to manage and scale the business.
During a candid conversation in the midst of our greatest crisis, which resulted in months of being in the red, my husband, Jeremy, pointed this out. "You're an initiator," he said, his eyes gleaming with earnestness. "You've been perfectly positioned to get this company off the ground. But you hate creating processes, which are essential for scaling a business. And you know who's good at creating processes?”
I knew very well who was good at those activities. In fact, I was married to him. Jeremy’s proposition was to serve side-by-side as partners: he would handle the processes while I continued to spearhead new initiatives. The only problem?
I didn’t want a partner. As I grappled with this decision, I found myself defining my self-worth by the success of my company, which was leaving me burned out, especially during a season of failure. I was tired of trying the advice I’d received for years and years from male mentors: Get thicker skin.
Thicker skin, in my mind, meant to continue putting myself - and only myself - in front of each blow that came to my business. To thicken was to callous. But this action had never served me; it certainly wasn’t during this season. What if what I’d been perceiving as thin skin, the inability to take every blow myself, was actually my body telling me it was time to accept help?
As I navigated these challenges, I realized the importance of embracing my vulnerability and redefining success on my own terms. I also recognized the value of partnership in business, understanding that it's okay to seek help and share responsibilities. The failure of my business during our most challenging season relinquished my control enough to bring on a partner — and that partnership allowed the company, and my own role, to soar.
In less than three years from this decision, the company more than quadrupled in size, completed an acquisition and rebrand, and landed on the Inc. 5000 List.
How do we start to redefine that success? I believe it has to do with challenging our own inner critics, which is why I developed a workbook for turning Imposter Syndrome into Inspiration - click here to get your copy, and stay tuned for next week’s deep dive around relinquishing control!